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| Raisins stuffed with dough, and the baked - box of raisin cookies |
Raisins are stuffed *in* dough. Also, "and the baked" makes no sense. |
| Lemon as the summer sun - on fruit drink box |
Perhaps "As yellow as the summer sun", in reference to lemons? |
| Let's be beautiful life friends - seen on T-shirt |
"Let's be friends" would be all right..."Let's be lifelong friends" is fine, too. The "beautiful" part is a bit odd to add after "Let's be". |
| Be only drink the better - newspaper advert for some mineral water |
"Only drink the best" would be okay. Don't start a sentence with "Be only" + verb, that is wrong. Also, "better" can't be used in this grammar structure. |
| A lovely paper for your toilet life - on wrapping of toilet paper rolls |
Saying "Toilet Life" implies people have a lifestyle revolving around the toilet, which is a funny thought. |
| Skin hand : Beautiful - Advert for skin moisturizer |
Of course hands are covered in skin. Also, the ": Beautiful" makes it look like "Skin Hand" is a category of some kind. |
| Here's a nice book. Let's diary! - on cover of notebook |
Don't use a noun after "Let's". It is grammatically wrong. |
| Learn from not losing the give-up - seen on T-shirt |
Very confusing meaning. Does this mean that I can learn by not giving up, or that I should give up? |
| Who the F*ck is Mick Jagger? - Seen on T-Shirt (yes, the f-word was really printed) |
Okay, so I don't expect the Japanese to know Mick Jagger as well as the average American, but still, is the F*ck part necessary...on an aged man's T-shirt? Does he know what the shirt says? |
| Shining for the sun is what we do - Seen on store window |
The sun "shines"; we don't shine for the sun. These people claim it, though, so I want to know how they try to do this :) |
| Can't Stop! Music! - Store sign in Takashimaya mall (Yohohama) |
Subject omitted in the first sentence, and "Music" isn't a sentence or command by itself. |
| My pleasureful thing to wear is - Seen on a T-shirt |
"Pleasureful" is an odd word to begin with, but the sentence isn't finished. What is the pleasureable thing to wear? |
| Touch is the feeling of hand - Seen on a notebook cover |
"Touch" is a feeling, yes, but the sentence structure is really confusing here; I'm not sure what the intended meaning is. |
| All you need is love Cacao - Seen on T-Shirt |
love Cacao? What exactly is that? |
| I am a bag - Seen on carry-on bag |
Nothing wrong grammatically, but this makes no sense. |
| System Clash occuled at 1900PM. Sory for unconvenences - Email from system administrator |
Spelling mistakes that change the meaning of the sentence in the first instance. Clash->Crash, Sory->Sorry, unconvenences->inconvenience |
| This tissue could change your life - Seen on a package of tissues |
Correct grammatically, but the idea of a tissue changing your life is absurd. The fact this is printed as an advertisement makes it even more strange. |
| Why don't you get some bite? - Phrase on coffee cup |
What is it I am supposed to get? |
| Oh, you are from Canadia? - Comment from native Japanese |
The country is "Canada", not "Canadia" |
| I don't take any sheet from you - Fellow employee commenting he doesn't have my translation sheets |
The pronounciation similarity between "sheet" and "sh*t" as I heard it made it very funny. The "sheet" in this case was an important paper I needed |
| Oh, yes. I'm speak French. Je m'appelle Jun...desu. - Lying person mixing Japanese in his French |
First, it's "I speak French", next, if you are going to speak French, don't add Japanese grammar/words at the end. |
| Strong winds caused by train - Sign at Toudaimae station |
Meaning is confusing at first glance. If "by train" was replaced by "when [the] train passes", it might (?) make it easier to understand |
| This power supply very good. Your computer voltage UP! - salesman talking to some foreigner |
Almost right : "This power supply is very good." I know the next sentence is supposed to mean "There will be more power supplied to your computer", but the fact he said "UP!" so sharply made me laugh |
| Do you know green tea? Green tea know you? - Office lady [sort of] joking with me about wanting tea |
"Do you know what green tea is?" would be better. I can't comprehend what I was asked if green tea "knew" me |
| Besides many certificate Get!! Torofye name is "Chasarin". I am very sleepy - Student Diary from Agematsu JHS |
"I got many certificates" would be a good start, but I have no idea what "Torofye" is, and I don't know why the author wrote she was sleepy |
| Today is happy day. Because class much today. But everyone caught a cold. Poor everyone. - Student Diary from Agematsu JHS |
"Today was a great day because we had many classes today, but everyone caught a cold." is better. "Poor Everyone" is strange; you should only follow "Poor" with one person's name, not a group. |
| I did played basketball. I was a lot of get the ball in the goal. - Student Diary from Agematsu JHS |
"I played basketball. I got the ball in the goal many times" is one way to fix it, I guess |
| I played basketball. This is sour. - Student Diary from Agematsu JHS |
Grammatically fine, though the 2 sentences don't relate to each other at all. |
| We're sure that you can get a lot good amenity - Tsutaya store (paper) bag |
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| Use recycled paper and recycle again! Complete the recycling cycle. Turn it around!! - cover of memo pad |
Too many instances of "recycle", and I don't know what "Turn it around" is supposed to mean |
| Love is the difficult - T-shirt worn by female high-school student |
You don't need "the" in there :) |
| Jumbocarddass W DX.5 - Label on a pack of stickers |
? Maybe it was the fact I picked out "Jumbo" "card" and "ass" in the same word. |
| Tokai University Open campus for your mind only - Advert for Tokai University Open House Day |
Aw, only my "mind" can go to the open campus ;) |
| It's a building with many blood(?). Close to stadium. - Directions from friend to Yokohama Hospital |
Even if you used the more correct "much blood", it is still a disturbing sentence. Also, since it was spoken, I didn't care so much, but written, the last part should be ", close to the stadium" |
| I want to go to live in high school - Student Diary from Agematsu Junior High |
I never knew a student that actually wanted to live in a high school before |
| My recommendation place is the open air music temple. I think everyone don't know old a school house - Student Diary from Agematsu Junior High |
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| The test was a little hard. But it was fairly mistakes think so. - Student Diary from Agematsu Junior High |
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| I am going to get 80. But it is impossible to get 80. - Student Diary from Agematsu Junior High |
Small grammar point : "I am going to get 80, but it is impossible to get 80." However, these two facts contradict each other. |
| I'm in trouble. Be don't 4:30 altogether. - Student Diary from Agematsu Junior High |
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| I hair cuted. I did short hair. Hairstyle look like Monchichi. Little over cuted. - Student Diary from Agematsu Junior High |
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| Our team lose. How disappointinged. - Student Diary from Agematsu Junior High |
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| Before dinner Watched TV and spread out the futon. - Student Diary from Agematsu Junior High |
"Before dinner we watched TV and spread out the futon". |
| We gave children some dreams. - Student Diary from Agematsu Junior High |
Okay, I guess (after being informed this is in fact correct), but I still think it sounds strage...perhaps I am thinking too literally. |
| There was a lot of beer in Nara. - Student Diary from Fukushima Junior High |
He mixed up his "b" and "d". There were many "deer" in Nara. |
| Shika Senbai is for deer. Don't EAT! Very bad taste! - Student from Fukushima Junior High |
The last 2 sentences seem like warning labels more than anything. Of course, animal food is intended for animals. You can eat it, sure, but it probably will taste bad |
| I'm many stupid, but her is like man. - Student from Agematsu Junior High |
I'm still a bit confused. She said she was stupid, but her friend was like a man? Eh, must be some bizarre juvenile humour |
| If you drink liqurs...NO DRIVE!!! - Sign at a restaurant in Nakatsugawa |
Spelling mistakes and confusing grammar. In a bar, "If you drink, don't drive!" works better. |
| I like Kyoto. I want to see it. I don't know. - Student Journal from Fukushima Junior High |
The "I don't know" threw me |
| Student's look like smart high school students. But, they have same head [as before]. Very sad. - Teacher from Kaida Junior High |
Spoken to me, it isn't really wrong. It's more the concept of the same students' heads put in different clothes that I found amusing, I think |
| I want a pet. Maybe king cobra. - Student from Fukushima Junior High |
"Maybe a king cobra". Also, the fact the kid wants a king cobra is disturbing |
| We play thing fashion show like when like today - Student Journal from Agematsu Junior High |
I *think* she means she pretended with her friends that they were in a fashion show that day |
| And the garbage eat the earth. This is recompense for foolish mankind! - Student Journal from Agematsu Junior High |
Even though it would still make almost no sense: "And the garbage ate the Earth" is grammatically correct. The 2nd sentence is way above his level; I know he copied it from somewhere else. |
| I made a cake with my mother. Sponge cake on the fresh cream. On cocoa shake it too. - Student Journal from Agematsu Junior High |
2nd + 3rd sentences : "I put fresh cream on the sponge cake and shook on cocoa as well" |
| We went to the Agematsu nursery school. I took a star-shaped ball I made with my mother last night. - Student Journal from Agematsu Junior High |
Fine, except I don't know what kind of shape a "star-shaped ball" is, since a ball is round by nature and all... |
| You like to meet my daughter? She's chest very big. - One of my evening students wanting me to meet her daughter |
One of my English conversation students trying to set me up with her daughter : "Would you like to meet my daughter? Her chest is very big" |
| Now we are close - A sign in Matsumoto indicating a store is closed |
For future reference : "Now we are closed" |
| A diary on the students' friends? Good, but what if a student has no friends? - Teacher at Mitake Junior High |
Gramatically fine, but it is sad for a teacher to seriously think that some students might not have any friends in a small, rural, tight-knit community |
| I'm fine. But cold now. So I'm turning on a heater now. - Student Journal from Fukushima Junior High |
Using the present tense in a diary for actions makes it look like it is happening in realtime as I read it. "I was fine, but cold, so I turned on a heater" |
| I like soba. I don't like oil. - Student Journal from Mitake Junior High |
The two sentences just don't seem to connect to each other |
| I was happy. But, I mind won't come out. - Student Journal from Agematsu Junior High |
Should be one sentence, "I", should by "my", and I have no idea what "mind won't come out" is supposed to mean |
| My father got a new portable mobile telephone. I also want a new mobile portable telephone. - Student Journal from Agematsu Junior High |
Fine, but "cell phone" is much shorter than "portable mobile telephone" |
| I'm very sad but I don't have pain because I am God. Oh!! Yes!!! I'm God! So. I'm brack got...OK I'll forget to "Test". I don't talk "Test". I don't know "Test". So I'm very tired. - Student Journal from Agematsu Junior High |
More of an insane rant than anything. Too many little errors to try and fix it, but the general onslaught of insanity is very funny to me |
| I went to a warm place. For example Guam. I am sea. - Student Journal from Mitake Junior High |
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| I want to go to Kaida, because I like horse. But I like horse, because I like horse. - Student Journal from Mitake Junior High |
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| My room is very very dirty. I have money. - Student Journal from Mitake Junior High |
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| I want beautiful woman. I live with my love people. - Student Journal from Mitake Junior High |
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| I can't speak french and I can't fly. - A Fukushima Junior High student |
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| Special this year eat rice 5 cups. - Student Journal from Fukushima Junior High |
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| The very best real Yokohama! CURRY PLAZA! - Seen on poster in Kannai Station |
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| Sea of perfume is like the breeze of a cool summer morning. Flow with the stream of aroma. - Seen on a perfume bottle |
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| Only the best entlies will be selected to... - Hitachi mail promoting an English speech contest |
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| Burning Brain! - Seen on T-shirt |
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| NO PRABLEM! [picture of ALF] - Seen on T-Shirt |
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| Your wonderful dance MONEY! - Comment from random man while playing DDR |
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| Does not smoking while eating the food - No smoking sign in Mos Burger |
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| Diamonds can cut glass...but don't cut glass to get diamonds! - Random comment from Hitachi employee |
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| You are highly violated by KONAMI - Part of a legal "threat" from some psycho in Japan |
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| Waterloo. Napoleon? - Native Japanese commenting on my "University of Waterloo" shirt |
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| Do you want massage? My hands very squeeze. - random "proposal" in Roppongi |
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| You look good sex man - another random "proposal" in Roppongi |
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| Please me message. Kobayashi is get - Hitachi employee trying to take a message on the phone |
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| Your dictionary. My Dictionary. Difference is picture of cow - Hitachi employee trying to compare our dictionaries |
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| Hey! You are dancing crazy Aaron! - Observer in Shinjuku game center after watching me set a new record |
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| After school is my piano teacher of go to classroom - Student Diary from Agematsu JHS |
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| My got schooled almost the spring vacation. - Student Diary from Agematsu JHS |
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| I'm a lot of running, and very very sweat. But not very ball in the goal. - Student Diary from Agematsu JHS |
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| But, we noised. Someone say, Be silent all of you. the person is frightening. - Student Diary from Agematsu JHS |
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| WORKER ANT! What do you do? Slave of Love - cover of file folder |
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| We wish that you can tidy up your papers simply - cover of organizer |
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| Our choice of your meal -- 850 yen - Sign in restaurant in Shinjuku |
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| I want your baby - Lady trying to ask for my baby picture |
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| Typhoon...Big wind with a hole - Person trying to explain a typhoon, like I didn't already know |
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| This device plugs into your USB phone jack port hole - Manual for Hitachi product |
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| Men don't protect you anymore - T-shirt worn by Tokyo male |
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| I think my school is very cool because school is full of wood - Student Diary from Agematsu Junior High |
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| I want to study science and math a little hard because I like them but I don't want to be a scientist because I want to be a fire fighter - Student Diary from Agematsu Junior High |
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| Water: We must love it and don't spill the - Random T-Shirt in Matsumoto |
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| How Kiso high school a rival. Win game us were not. - Student Diary from Agematsu Junior High |
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| I will go a head! I think I want to be cool. - Student Diary from Agematsu Junior High |
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| English class took a Bideo. I was strain. - Student Diary from Agematsu Junior High |
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| At last played a game. but bede-feateded. - Student Diary from Agematsu Junior High |
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| Lunch time cooked Mr. Katsuoka. - Student Diary from Agematsu Junior High |
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| NO! CARRY WITH!! - Sign at a restaurant in Nakatsugawa |
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| Japanese Man. Aged 33. I seek sincere black lady for find partner. - Personals Ad in a Nagoya local magazine |
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| Young lady wanted as life partner. Must want to have and raise kids. May still lead interesting life, including travel. - Personals Ad in a Nagoya local magazine |
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| Ready for more natural life-style far from Tokyo. Maybe Yokohama. - Personals Ad in a Nagoya local magazine |
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| Don't eat "spare ribs"! It's me! - Teacher from Fukushima Junior High |
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| I am strong. Because, I drink coffee. Into which many milk. - Student Journal from Agematsu Junior High |
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| My pet's Miru was good today. She learned place of the bathroom, but she still take a leak to other place. I want her to take a leak early. - Student Journal from Agematsu Junior High |
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| I was very tired. I want to say "I was very tired." I can say "I was very tired." - Student Journal from Agematsu Junior High |
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| We bought some box tissues because spring is season of pollen allergy - Student Journal from Agematsu Junior High |
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| Then N.H. said "Oh, today we'll know 'Bairitsu's' result" But M.M. "What...Oh, we come out blood vessels when cold day." It was funny. - Student Journal from Agematsu Junior High |
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| I'm a IT star! - A poster advertising the joys of working Hi-tech |
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| Now hiring non-foreign person Japanese only please. - A help-wanted ad at Parco mall in Matsumoto |
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| Do you like Japanese food? I'm umeboshi. This umeboshi is very sour. - Student Journal from Fukushima Junior High |
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| Sometimes I will go to this Canada. This turu! - Student Journal from Fukushima Junior High |
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| I won't to go travel. But. I want read the magazine! This vacation is not interesting for me. - Student Journal from Mitake Junior High |
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| I'm glad happy. - Student Journal from Mitake Junior High |
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| It's gold day...ehhhh...Friday! - Kaida Junior High Student |
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| It's sunny o'clock. - Kaida Junior High Student |
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| I was a lot of watched TV on New years day. - Student Journal from Mitake Junior High |
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| I played soccer with dog. Do you know dog? - Student Journal from Mitake Junior High |
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| Do you like mochi? Do you know Big been? - Student Journal from Mitake Junior High |
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| I spend my family in Grandmother's house - Student Journal from Mitake Junior High |
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| Winter is kotatsu and orange. - Student Journal from Mitake Junior High |
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| I think so play ski. - Student Journal from Fukushima Junior High |